Flirty moments with Edward
by Twilightistotallyawesome
Summary: Before Bella came along, all the girls in Forks High fell for Emmett and Jasper. But mostly Edward! These are all there flirty moments that have been failed. Review please -working on chapter 4-
1. Jessica

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Disclaimers- I do not own anything with relation to Twilight. Does that make sense? Oh well I do not own Twilight!

summary: Before Bella came along all the girls fallen for Emmett and Jasper. But mostly Edward cuz he's the single Cullen. These are all the flirty attempts that have failed.

**Jessica**

I can do this! Every boy wants me. You're cool, popular, hot, and always in the spotlight. Who doesn't want you? **(A/N Every boy in America) **You're Jessica Stanley.

Yesterday the most gorgeous boys came to our school. And if I can't have them then _no one _will. After school that day I planned to ask their sisters what they like in a woman. The blonde one just hmped at me and walked away. Alice stood at her locker like she was expecting someone. I then asked her my question. And this is what she said, " Put chicken fat in you're hair." **( icarly is so funny. I got this from them)**One thing's for sure, she sure is nicer than the blonde. It's good to know that I'm on the good side of one of my future sister in law.

I wanted to make sure I make a good impression so instead of my shampoo I used chicken fat. Then when I was done washing, dry, and all that mumbo jumbo, I used more chicken fat to make my hair glisten. Then I used my most revealing outfit. I look totally _good_. Oh-yeah. If I wasn't me then I would totally date myself.

Now, to the school!

* * *

  
This is so nerve racking! I walked straight past their car when they got out and they didn't even look at me! They looked as if they smelt something bad. So at that time I thought _If they don't like the air then I must use my chicken fatted hair to waft away the stinky smell. _It was kinda hard to do though. My hair was already flowing in the wind directing at them. So I looked right and left so it can become more flowy. Alice kept giggiling and whispered something to the blonde one which I now know as Rosalie. Then she was laughing out loud! I don't think that was very lady like.

So now it's lunch and I already decided to sit with my new husbands. I quickly strutted over there and sat down. My face slowly went up beautifully and saw six pairs of eyes on me. The eye color was black for all of them. But who cares, they're hot! Hmmmmm better start with the one that doesn't look so terrifing. Oooh the reddish brown haired one!

" Hello," I purred seductively. All he did was gag. He must want me! " So I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me at my house. There will be no one there. Just you and me. _Alone. _Since the movie will be playing it would be very _dark_ in the room_."_ I started to think rated R scenes with me and him

He looked very disgusted for some reason. And he kept gagging. Is he choking?

"Is he choking?" I just had to ask.

"Maybe," said Alice with absolutely no concern for her brother. Wait. Lightbulb!

"I know mouth to mouth!" I'd take any opportunity.

"I'm ok!" Edward sounded confident. Hmmmm.

"Are sure you don't want to check? The thing you must have been eating might've decreased you're air supply." Please say yes. Say yes! Yes Yes!

"I'm ok. Now can you please stop trying to ask me out. I will never go out with you even if you were the last woman-no thing on earth." Wha? No one does that to Jessica Stanley!

"How about you blondy?" Say yes!

" I'm not a lesbian." I was talking to the guy that's blonde! People are right. Blondes are dumb! **(Not dissin blondes. Jessica is the dumb one)**

" Not you! The handsome one right here." I rolled my r's.

"Sorry but he's my boyfriend." WHAT?! Well they aren't related so I guess that's okay.

"How about you muscle man?" Come on! I might need a big, strong, strong man like you!

"He's mine." Everybody's taken? 'Cept Edward.

" You sure you don't wanna go out with me Edward?" I asked just one more time hoping he would say yes.

"I don't like you. Please leave."

Well! I can't believe it. I just got rejected 3 times. Wait no. Edward said no another time so...what's the number after 3? I ran to the bathroom as soon as I can. In the mirror I saw an ugly lady. What happened to the hot girl I used to be? Ick the chicken fat dried. EWW! What Alice said was a trick or sarcasm. Or both! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Chicken fat is in my hair! Eww. Eww. Eww. Eww.

* * *

Emmett's POV

Gah! There is a hideous monster in front of Edward! I must protect him! Oh, wait no that's just Jessica trying to ask us out. Is that chicken fat?

**Thank you to everyone who read this. Please review. Please. I want to know something. Lauren or Angela next? Pretty please! Review**


	2. Lauren

**Lauren won in the review voting thing.**

**Disclaimers- Unfortunetly...no**

**Lauren**

They were beautiful. Gorgeous. Se- what was that word. Ughhhhh what's that word for even MORE beautiful. Gosh, where's that lightbulb when you need it? I have to get one of those cartoon-y lightbulbs that pop up over your head when you get an idea. Note to self: go to Wal-Mart. I could wait after school for them by their car, then attack them! Yeah. Perfect. No wait what about-

"Are you ok lauren?" asked my therapist with fake concern. All he did was pretend to listen to my problems and get paid! That job was awesome!

"Well, I am having problems that include _boys_."

"What about them? Teasing? Bullying? Ya know some boys do that because they have a crush on you." DUH!. Of course I know. That's 3rd grade stuff. Is it?

" No no no! I like them." Not like. LOVE THEM! I'm a sick teenager in love for kyle's sake. No wait george's sake. Ughhhh I'm getting dizzy. Why can't you use a girl's name? Yeah, for Ann's sake. That's better than whatever his name's sake.

"Ahhhhhhh. Ummmm...Sheral?" Sheral was my therapist's assistant.

" Yes Mr. Ahhh?" Mr. Ahhh is my therapist's name. But I like to call him Mr. A. Wait what was that in the corner?

" AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" There's a...a...a-

"I thought we went over this Lauren. I prefer Mr. Ahhh or Mr. A." Right there in that corner...

"SPIDER!! SPIDER!! MUST KILLLLLLL!" I went and got the broom and whacked stuff without opening my eyes. EEP. A spider!

"LAUREN. Stop you hitting me in the head with a broom and that is not a spider." Wait wha?

"It snot?"

"Not, Lauren, not snot. And yes that's my new hat." Oooooooooh. That's a hat. And it's not snot. Wait what? Ok. Sloooooowlllly think Lauren. Ok, Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.

" Are you ok Lauren?" asked my therapist with fake concern. Didn't we already go over this?

* * *

It's finally lunch time! I heard that the pirdy people rejected Jessica. Now it's my chance! I walked over to their table swaying my hips to the right...then left...then right. Well you get the point. As I was walking I puckered my lips in the cool way.**(Picture her doing this, and her hips are just moving right and left in that exagerated way.)**

"Hello," I said seductively. I looked at the bronze haired boy."So I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me at my house. There will be no one there. Just you and me. _Alone. _Since the movie will be playing it would be very _dark_ in the room_._" HA! Jessica probably didn't do it like that! **(Jessica DID do it like that)**

" Not this again!" What again? And why is he banging his head to the table?

"HELLO? Do you want to go out with me?" **(She actually asked if he wanted to have sex but EWWWWWWW you guys would have night mares)**

"NO! And my brothers are currently dating...and so am I." HUH? Where was that little bitch?! It's probably Angela. Oh, it's always the quiet ones.

"You finally warmed up to Tanya, or did another girl catch your eye?" asked his big, strong, juicy, man meat of a brother. Wait, who is Tanya?

I ran away fake sobbing. That would probably make them feel sorry for me and when one of them comes over, we will look at each other in the eyes and know that we were made for eack other! Oh and to see if they are willing enough to come over to me I will go to the girl's bathroom! I quickly ran over to one of the stalls. Just a couple seconds now...

* * *

It's been FIVE seconds. Where are they? FIVE FREAKIN SECONDS! Maybe they're fat.

* * *

It's been SIX seconds. SIX FREAKIN SECONDS! They ARE fat.

* * *

Just then the door to the girl's bathroom opened. YES! After 30 minutes they came to the rescue! My heroe!

"Lauren?" That doesn't sound like the Cullens.

"AHHHHHH Who are you?"

"Lauren it's okay. Your therapist told me if you were ever in the bathroom for too long, I have to check if you're still there and ok or mentally insane."

Awww! My therapist does care! But who is on the other side of the stall?

"Wh-wh-who are you?" Scared. MOMMY!

" Oh I'm just the voice in your head. Don't worry."**(Lauren is just like me! I have a voice in my head. Cept I named him Tom. And I don't go to therapy.)**

"Laruen? You don't have any...lady problems do you?" Do I? Well better check.

**SNEAK PREVIEW! ANGELA IS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! SHE IS GOING TO STUTTER LIKE A MANIAC! ASKING OUT POEPLe IS NOT A SUBJECT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

_I ran away from the embarrasment Lauren caused me. On my way to the bathroom I ran into something hard. When I looked up, I was only stunned by beauty and topaz-y eyes._

_"h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h" Oh gosh. Was I stuttering? Mum said it was unlady like to stutter. Better say sorry before he thinks I'm crazy._

_"Sorry...it's cold?" Hope Edward doesn't see through my lie. Then what will I say? I was stunned my your beauty? Edward just smirked and said this..._

_"It's alright. I think it is very cold indeed. I saw your embarrasment in the classroom." No! Please don't tease me," I wanted to say I'm sorry."_

_"Thanks," wow. This is one different guy. I walked away before anything else could happen.**(Sorry angela but there is more embarrasment coming for you!)**_

**It's fun to write in the pov of a dumb girl. Angela was hard to write since she's smart but I am going to post it right away! Thank you everybody who reviewed. In this chapter I thought it would funny if Lauren had a therapist. Can anybody send me a name of a girl in Twilight? I don't have my book with me at the moment. You will be mentioned in the chapter. Yes, it's true that I have a voice in my head. And yes, it did tell me to do the Soulja Boy dance...**


	3. Angela

**Disclaimers. When pigs fly right. OMG IS THAT A PIG!?**

**Angela**

I have to say, the Cullens are good looking, but un-like most girls, I'm not gonna ask them out. I'd be to shy to ask or talk to them. I heard that Jessica asked them first and they flat out said no. Then Lauren took a shot at it and they made her cry and run in the bathroom. Well, that's what I heard but people don't know that I heard Lauren scream in the bathroom. And she was talking to herself. I'd have to talk to that therapist of hers.

When I got to the classroom about 1 second late, people were giving me the where-have-you-been look. I gave them all the not-now look. And they replied to me with the ok-later look. When I got to my seat and took notes on whatever the teacher was saying there was something jabbing at my elbow. That's weird. Stuff doesn't just jab at your elbow everyday. I looked up and saw Jessica with a note in her hand. Oh so it was the note that was jabbing at my hand.

**(notes. **_Angela, _Jessica**)**

Where have you been?

_Oh you know, thinking._

Mmmmhmmmm What were you thinking about?

_Stuff_

-gasp- YOU BETTER NOT BE THINKING ABOUT ASKING THE CULLENS OUT! THEY ARE MINE! MINE I TELL YOU

_I don't see your name on them _**(A/N you go angela!)**

Whatever well...

_Yes?_

Lauren asked out the cullens and they are all dating...

_And?_

Lauren thinks your dating Edward

_I'm not_

Whatev

That was weird. Then the bell rang and Lauren approached me with a glare. She thinks it makes people flinch but it only makes her look stupider.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Now what?

"What?"

"ARE YOU DATING EDWARD?!" Not this again.

"I'm not."

"Yeah right." Then she grabbed my necklace and pushed me down. When I landed, my elbow smudged with fudge that someone left on the ground. What is it with my elbow and hitting stuff? To my left was my necklace. It wasn't even a necklace anymore. The chains were everywhere on the ground and the flower that was made from real diamonds were on the cold ground next to my knee. My best friend gave me that necklace right before she passed away 6 years ago.** (This is why the story is not only humor but hurt/comfort, comfort is coming soon)** I picked up the peices and tried to hurry away.

But Lauren stuck out her foot and made me fall.

"So how was your trip?" That could've meant two things:My trip, or my trip to Brazil. I finally got up with the peices and ran.

As I ran away from the embarrasment Lauren caused me, on my way to the bathroom I ran into something hard. When I looked up, I was only stunned by beauty and topaz-y eyes.

"h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h" Oh gosh. Was I stuttering? Mum said it was unlady like to stutter. Better say sorry before he thinks I'm crazy.

"Sorry...it's cold?" Hope Edward doesn't see through my lie. Then what will I say? I was stunned my your beauty? Edward just smirked and said this...

"It's alright. I think it is very cold indeed. I saw your embarrasment in the classroom." No! Please don't tease me," I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Thanks," wow. This is one different guy. I walked away before anything else could happen.

* * *

I was on my way into my car when I realised that when I ran away embarassment, and ran into Edward, I didn't pick up the peices that I dropped. Oh no! That was the only thing I have left of my best friend. I slumped down against the door and cried for about 8 minutes straight. How could I have been so stupid as to not pick up the peices?

"Hey Angela?! I have something for you!!" That sounded like Ben...My head went up.

"Did you drop this necklace?" No way. It was my necklace all together. I guess I ran too fast to him because I tripped, but before I hit the ground Ben caught me. His eyes locked straight into mine. He, then, awkwardly help me straighten out.

"Need help putting on your necklace?" Eep.

"Yes." As he placed the necklace around my neck I couldn't help but wonder how the necklace came together.

"Um, Ben? How did you find the necklace?" If I asked my other question, I might sound crazy.

"Edward Cullen came to me after gym and told me if I could bring you this necklace that you dropped since he didn't have time."

"I hope he knows that I'm grateful that he found it." Or _fixed _it.

"He told me to tell you you're welcome." Edward Cullen is amazing. A miracle. A helping hand. **(She's not falling in love with him) **I played with my necklace for a little while before I noticed Ben was still here and staring at me.

"Is something wrong?" My teeth? My hair?

"No, everything's perfect."

"Well thanks for bringing me my necklace, Ben." I liked the way his name rolled off my tongue.

"You're welcome"

As I walked back to my car, I wondered what was that feeling I felt when Ben placed the necklace around my neck.

* * *

**Edward POV**

I hope Angela likes my gift. Actually _gifts._ The first one, all I had to do was fix something. And the other...well he was more than happy to help deliver it.

**AWWWWWWWWW. I'm sorry if this isn't funny but it was SO sweet. Anyways, give a round of applause for Edward!**


	4. Thank you

**I need to get these off my chest**

**Thank you clemmy14 for the sentence Lauren said to Angela**

**Thank you mj.twilighter for giving me the idea for making chapter 5 oh...let's just say it involves the receptionist woman in the office **

**thank you SparklingTopazEyes for giving me the idea of making chapter 4 involve MIKE!**

**Sorry but this is a thank you's page...and thank you viewer and reviewers! **

**Oh and thank you PortableSwamp and Sagaaddict for giving me the idea for making chapter 6 involve samantha who I now know exists in the Twilight world.**

**And when I say INVOLVES I mean that person is gonna ask Edward, Emmett, or Jasper**


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